The Do’s and Don’ts of Love Spells by Robin Rose Bennett

Posted by – February 12, 2015
Categories: Guest Post Spirituality & Religion

HealingMagicLike it or not, Valentine’s Day is approaching! Love can be in the air for you, too, with some help from Robin Rose Bennett, a master herbalist and author of Healing Magic: A Green Witch Guidebook to Conscious Living. Here, she shares a couple of love spells, along with some practical information on how and how not to use them!


Do’s and Don’ts of Love Spells

A guy named Tim learned a little magic and decided to do a spell to win the affection of a young woman he had been eyeing. It worked. Ironically, it worked too well for his taste, and he lamented ever having done the spell. He complained about having her, in much the same way that he’d complained about not having her before.

“I got her, but now I can’t get rid of her,” he sighed. There’s truth to the old saying, “Be careful what you ask for—you might just get it.”

I counsel people not to do spells directed toward a particular individual, but rather to invoke the qualities that you are looking for in a lover or life partner. It is less manipulative, and you can still be clear and specific. Those who disagree with this thinking point out that a spell can only help with the initial getting-together. The man or woman who did the magic still has to do whatever is necessary to have a genuine relationship, if that’s what the person wants. I think it is all too easy to project unreal qualities onto someone you are attracted to. Sex and love spells work best, with the least uncomfortable repercussions, when done with trust that the right person will respond if you let him or her make that choice freely.

One man I know very well called out to the Universe for a woman full of magic. Little did he know what he’d invoked—he got me! Four years later, we joined our lives together.

A Full Moon Spell for True Love

Roses are wonderful for love magic. I use red and pink roses: the flowers invite beauty and sexuality; leaves nourish strength and friendship; the hips—fruit that contains the seeds—stand for continuity over time; and the thorns for mutual respect, protection, and maintaining healthy personal boundaries. Rose opens the mind, heart, body, and spirit to love and pleasure.

Put all the dried ingredients together in a brightly colored bag, or a deep-red one. You can add anything else you want, such as items symbolizing the particular qualities you are invoking. Perhaps you want to write the names of the happiest, most committed lovers you know, to illustrate what true love looks like to you, and put the piece of paper in the bag. You can add other herbs, too. If you like, decorate the outside of the bag.

On the night before the full moon, place your love spell and a red or rose-pink candle on your altar. Write down the qualities you are looking for in your man or woman on a beautiful piece of paper (You’ll probably want to have prepared a rough draft of this earlier). Put that on the altar too. Love goddesses are always attracted to expressions of beauty and creativity. You might want to put a mirror on your altar, too. The goddesses are happy to see their own beauty when they come to help you.

Create a ritual circle by calling the elements and the seven directions. Next, call on the goddess of your choice, perhaps Greek Goddess Aphrodite, or African Goddess Oshun. Read your list of qualities you are invoking, out loud the first night, and silently or aloud on the subsequent nights. Ask her to send you the true love you are asking for by the new moon that follows the next one (in six weeks). Choose any amount of time you want, if the timing I suggest doesn’t fit. Be realistic. You have to know what you’re invoking is possible, in order for spell work to help you manifest (or womanifest) your dreams. Create or copy a rhyming spell that is short and sweet, such as:

Aphrodite, send to me,
The one who’ll set my loving free,
The one who is my destiny,
The one who’s calling you for me

Light your candle and repeat your spell aloud three times. When you are ready, put out your candle, either with your fingers or with a candlesnuffer, and open (release) the circle by thanking—silently or out loud—the directions in the reverse order of how they were called. Do this for three nights, before, during, and after the full moon. On the last night, burn the paper. Collect the ashes and release your spell and all its remnants into a living, flowing body of water as soon as possible. Now, give thanks once more, then let go and trust. Open your heart to the love that is present within and all around you. Don’t wait to share your love!

A Waxing Crescent Moon Spell For a Lover

You are not necessarily looking for a long-term relationship. Sometimes you simply want to be with a wonderful person to share a great time together. Rose has a very exciting grandmother who is especially good at calling forth this energy. Her name is Grandmother Hawthorn, and like her granddaughter Rose, she is very beautiful. More importantly, she is happy to help you in such significant matters as love and sex.

Hawthorn is a tree that is skinny and gnarly, and has frighteningly long, sharp thorns, so that at first glance you might not realize how sexual she actually is. Her flowers, though, give her away. They blossom abundantly in the merry month of May, and the scent of musky, sexual juiciness floats lazily on the breeze, causing spring fever to rise in those around her.

Gather or purchase hawthorn flowers, and when you can see the waxing moon in the sky, it is time to do your spell. It is up to you how simple or elaborate you feel like making any spell. The sincerity of your intent is always the most important factor. The symbols you use do matter, but it is wise not to confuse a symbol with whatever it is representing.

Artemis, the archer, is a virgin goddess connected with the new moon and the waxing crescent moon. She is also known as Diana, the huntress. She is a wonderful goddess to call on for this spell because she is physically vital, sexual, and unattached to any man or woman. The original meaning of the word “virgin” refers to a woman who is owned by no one but herself.

You could also choose to call on lusty Pan, the god of healthy, sexual, male vitality. He certainly needs to be reclaimed from having been falsely turned into a devil! You can also simply direct any spell to the Universe or All-That-Is.

Make a pot of hawthorn flower infusion by pouring boiling water over one ounce (about one and a half cups) of dried flowers in a quart container. Steep, covered, anywhere from two hours to overnight. Drink your tea, sweetened with honey if you like; you can lick the honey off your finger to make your spell even sexier and put yourself in the right frame of mind. Light a bright orange or red candle. Meditate, imagining that you have already found the lover you are seeking. Choose a time frame in which you expect your new lover to manifest in your life, such as by the next new moon or full moon, for instance. Then, when you feel ready, say a simple rhyming spell that you have created or copied. Say it aloud nine times, even if you are alone. Here’s one:

Dearest Artemis,
Thank you for sending a lover my way
Who wants to love me for today,
And knows that sex is sacred play.

Finish your tea, and let your candle burn all the way down. Toss the spent flowers and candle drippings into a living body of flowing water, or bury them in the earth. Give your thanks once more, then let go and trust. Open your senses to the sensual and sexual life force at play—in your food, your body, your friendships, your garden—in everything. Enjoy!

By the way, hawthorn can also help renew a long-term relationship if the sexual magic within it has waned, or even if it hasn’t. Share hawthorn flower infusion with each other. Include the berries, because they increase circulation and stamina. They also nourish the heart. Ask the spirit of Grandmother Hawthorn to revisit your relationship as you drink the delicious tea together. Make sure you leave yourselves time after the tea to enjoy her magically sensual, sexual gifts!


RobinRoseBennett2012photoRobin Rose Bennett is a master herbalist who has been in private practice since 1986. She teaches regular workshops at the New York Open Center (check her calendar here!).

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About the Author

After graduating from UC Berkeley in 2007, Julia was delighted to find out that “professional book recommender” was a job. She has been working in marketing and publicity with independent Bay Area publishers ever since. She joined North Atlantic Books in 2014. She lives with her husband and two very nice cats in Oakland.