Letter from the Publisher: Radical Relating
Categories: New Release Letter from the Publisher
OK, I’ll admit it: I read the comments.
This applies to various substacks, social-media posts, videos, and news articles. I do this not to depress myself but rather to keep my finger on the pulse of everyday people, much like I eavesdrop on public buses. I try to swim in the comments without drowning, remembering that I am there not to waste time or simply corroborate my views but to learn and also, as a publisher, to find fresh voices.
Because every once in a while, I am so impacted by the thoughtfulness of a comment that I double-click into that person’s universe and try to learn more about them and their work in the world. After all, not everyone has a big platform; sometimes a platform slowly emerges through thoughtful comments on popular content. What can I say: I’m always rooting for the humble ones, hoping that in my role I can help amplify the medicine they bring. Most healing lives in quiet spaces.
Such was the case with Mel Cassidy and their groundbreaking work on relationships. I had first noticed the wit and perspicacity of Mel’s comments on the social-media posts of the Conspirituality podcast, which I listen to frequently for its trenchant analysis of the intersections between wellness and conspiracy, science and misinformation.
I cannot remember exactly what Mel was commenting on, but I liked their fresh and informed take and spent some time learning more. What I found was a thoughtful somatic relationship coach from Canada who was building a practice and modality based on liberated relationships, ones inspired by queer and polyamorous lineages that actively disinvest from the normative, possession-based, hetero-centric approach to romance that has been part and parcel of our failing systems. I knew from my own decades-long marriage that the extent to which my partner and I found vitality related directly to how much we shrugged off conventional mores and embraced a questioning and liberation-forward frame. I figured there were many more folks hungry for new relationship roadmaps.
And so I reached out to Mel through their website with a gentle query into whether they had thought about capturing their framework and practices in book form. To my delight, they wrote back: “Yes, I have been quietly collecting materials for a book on Radical Relating/Detoxing from Monogamy culture. I would love to work with a publisher. I took a look at North Atlantic Books, and I appreciate that you’re publishing works on somatics, racial justice, and plant medicines: these are practices I am very passionate about.”
Mel and I met on Zoom shortly thereafter, and the collaboration between North Atlantic Books and Mel Cassidy was born. Two years later, I have to pinch myself as I behold Radical Relating: A Queer and Polyamory-Informed Guide to Love Beyond the Myth of Monogamy.
The book explodes so many relationship myths: that the “right ones” proceed in a predictable, linear way; that they are largely free of conflict; and that our primary needs will be met by one person we are romantically involved with. Instead, Cassidy offers a compelling counter-vision: that sex is not the primary measure of relational success or fulfillment; that self-sacrifice does not have to be the cost of relationships; and that the narrow path of escalating relationships can be supplanted by diverse relational ecosystems.
Family structures, and what love looks like, are changing, whether social conservatives like it or not. What tools and frameworks do we need to support this transition, ones that are not grounded in relationship models and inherited isms that have largely failed us? Whether straight, queer, monogamous, or polyamorous, aren’t we ready for new ways of doing love and embodying a radical form of relating?
Mel would say yes. And they have generously offered their blueprint for how to do so. Please read this book! And leave a comment.
—Tim McKee, publisher of North Atlantic Books
About the Author
Tim McKee
Tim came to NAB in 2013 and is honored to serve as publisher. Born in New York City, McKee grew up in Los Angeles and received a BA from Princeton University and an MA in journalism from the University of Missouri. He has worked in the nonprofit sector for his entire career, including serving as the long-time managing editor of The Sun magazine, the grants director for a social-justice foundation in San Francisco, and as a writer for several community-based organizations in California. He has also taught college-level writing and journalism. His book No More Strangers Now: Young Voices from a New South Africa (Dorling Kindersley) was an Honor Book for the Jane Addams Book Award and a Los Angeles Times bestseller. He is happiest when bringing necessary stories to the page.
